As I reflect on the last year or so, I can’t help but cringe. To be completely honest, this has been the worst year that I can remember. I have to remind myself each day that I am still here though. That I woke up another day and took care of me and what I need to do. I reflect upon how much I’ve not only relied on friends and family, but also my angels, guides and passed loved ones to help me make it through each bump along the way.. some of those bumps were little annoying speed bumps and some were large mountainous bumps.
Most don’t know that I was diagnosed with a major heart condition back in June, this was a scary time period as they didn’t (and still really don’t) know why my heart function had decreased significantly. I suffered from medication side effects that made me feel dizzy and nauseous every day for months! Luckily I found one of the best doctors for heart failure in the country and have seen improvement since June. I thank the universe every day for this improvement and pray for continued improvement.
In September, I lost my dad suddenly after he had a major heart attack. As you can imagine, this devastated me. The loss of a parent is indescribable, I feel like even more so if you have a close relationship with that parent. I’m not sure where I’ve managed to find the strength each day to wake up and do what I have to, but I DO. Add on top of these two major life events some heartbreak, living situation changes and other family medical issues and you might be able to see why I cringe a bit.
WHY am I putting some of my most personal moments and feelings out on the internet? Well, because I want people to know that even people who work in the light have dark days. We have some days where it’s hard to follow our own guidance that we provide to others. I have many friends who do the "work" and we often feel like we can’t share anything but our positive things in life because people may look at us differently since we are psychic/mediums. There is this preconceived notion that we are zen 100% of the time (don’t I wish), but the truth is, get ready for it: We are human too. I’ve had to learn this year to say “I’m not ok” and “I need help”. I’ve had to take multiple breaks from doing my “work” because I had to take care of my physical and emotional health.
At the end of the day, these life events are molding me and helping me grow. They have helped me relate even more to my clients who come to me looking for answers, healing, inspiration etc. They have also really helped me understand why the gifts I have help others… and why they seek out what I do.
It's ok to look back on a year and cringe as long as you can look forward to the new prospect of better times in the new year. Be easy on yourself, forgive yourself, and promise yourself to do everything you can to create a more positive life, your best life!